Dialogue vs. Debate

Dialogue	Debate
The goal of dialogue is increased understanding of myself and others	The goal of debate is the successful argument of my position over that of my opponent
I listen with a view toward understanding	I listen with a view of countering what I hear.
I listen for strengths so as to affirm and learn.	I listen for weaknesses so as to discount and devalue.
I speak for myself from my own understanding and experience.	I speak based on assumptions made about others' positions and motivations.
I ask questions to increase understanding	I ask questions to trip up or confuse.
I allow others to complete their communications.	I interrupt or change the subject.
I concentrate on others' words and feelings.	I focus on my own next point.
I accept others' experiences as real and valid for them.	I critique others' experiences as distorted or invalid.
I allow the expression of real feelings (in myself and others) for understanding and catharsis.	I express my feelings to manipulate others; I deny their feelings as legitimate.
I honor silence.	I use silence to gain advantage.

Presented at a UUCB Right Relations presentation by John Rymers and Pat Washburn