UUCB Shared Ministry Resources

Shared Ministry

Effective UUCB Meetings - a discussion of good practices and tools for making meetings satisfying and useful.

Right Relations

One building block of Shared Ministry is nuturing "right relations".

During the spring of 2002, the UUCB Right Relations Committee consisted of Barbara Molfese, Holly Lewis, Neal McBurnett, Lee Redfield, and Rev Jackie Ziegler.

The initial charge was to help the community integrate tools and develop skills to enhance "right relations", especially around how we handle differences.

This process builds on the work that UUCB did in about 1997 on a committment to "speak truth with love", "actively listen", "stay at the table" and "no triangulation".

See our May 2002 Annual Report and talk to the board about the future of shared ministry and right relations.

Resources for Right Relations

Here are some resources and background items.

The Process Observer Role - observing how we relate to each other and feeding it back to improve the process.

Breaking Impasses - how to focus on addressing issues and avoid getting stuck on dug-in positions.

Dialogue vs. Debate - striving for increased understanding, rather than winning arguments.

UU Study/Action Issue Dialogue Circles: A Guide for Facilitators by Robert M. Sarly
"...basic dialogue principles: to speak one's own truth from one's own experience; to listen without the intention to respond and with a willingness to be influenced; to respect and embrace difference as a gift to be valued; and to suspend judgment long enough to allow truth to emerge through question and reflection."

Marshall Rosenberg, founder of the Center for Nonviolent Communication gave a sermon and presented a workshop on May 26, 2002. Nonviolent Communicationsm (NVC) is a process that strengthens our ability to inspire compassion from others and respond compassionately to others and ourselves. NVC guides us to reframe how we express ourselves and how we hear others by focusing our consciousness on what we are observing, feeling, needing, and requesting. A useful pattern for communicating a request is:

• When I see or hear [some specific thing that you do]
• I feel [some emotion]
• because I need [some basic human need], and that need is not being met.
• So I would request [one specific alternative behavior].

District Resources and Readers from the Thomas Jefferson District. Includes "When the Conflict is in My Congregation" which has some wonderful text on how to really listen.

Ethical Communication Guidelines

http://firstuusandiego.org/public/sermons/sermon_text/2001-10-07-text.htm "Notes Toward CommUUnicating Our Faith" Or What Do You Say After You Say: ?I'm a Unitarian Universalist??
Delivered by Tom Owen-Towle On October 7, 2001

Our lives are ultimately measured by right relations instead of right beliefs. We promise our spiritual kin that we will comfort, celebrate, challenge, and companion one another for better, for worse, ongoingly. Universalist forebear Hosea Ballou caught the kernel of our covenant in 1805:

If we have love, no disagreement can do us any harm; but if we have not love, no agreement can do us any good.

http://www.uua.org/news/91101/bethmiller916.html Rev. Beth Miller, in response to the events of 9/11:

For what shall we pray? For peace, certainly. For justice, too, and for the restoration of right relations in the world. Like Do Unto Others, this is incredibly complex. We won't always agree on how to best achieve either peace or justice, or on which is more important at any given moment.

Fulfilling the Promise Asks for Recovenanting http://www.uua.org/interconnections/nourishing/vol2-1-nourishing.html

As one example to help inspire those forging their own agreements, a bit more than half-way down is the Unitarian Church of Victoria, BC, "Policy on Good Relations".

UUA's "Fulfilling the Promise" and the Fulfilling the Promise Toolbox can be found here:
http://www.uua.org/promise/flash.html

There is lots of good stuff there, including

Covenanting to Create Right Relationships Within a Congregation Edward J. Carroll, Moderator, First Universalist Church of Denver

Covenanting to Create a Safe Congregation by Shayna Wesoly-Appel, Unitarian Society of New Haven, Hamden, CT

Covenanting to Change a Culture of Controversy by Rev. H. Vann Knight Unitarian Church of Victoria, BCu

Ethical Communication Workshop and Community Discussions

Ethical Communication Workshop and Community Discussions
January 27 2002, 12:30 - 3:30 at UUCB, No charge

Come and learn how to resolve conflict when it really matters to you. Taking responsibility. Making committments. Getting to the source of your concerns. "I" statements. Inviting challenging new ideas that help you grow. Staying at the table.

After the presentation, we'll actually practice what we've learned in an open discussion of community matters, both in small groups and in a large group at the end.

Presented and facilitated by Lisa Olcese, Director of Education, Boulder County Safehouse, in return for the support they've gotten from UUCB.

Besides learning how to grow and communicate better at UUCB, these skills can apply to family life, your work environment, and help you with your internal spiritual growth as well.

We expect that we'll have food beforehand, and that childcare will be available. For more information see http://uucboulder.org/sm/ or contact Barbara Molfese (720-406-7484) or Lee Redfield (303-702-0119).